September 4, 2012

Well today was very tiring. I couldn't stay focus in my classes today and I just felt tired. I was really happy that a story I wrote manages to get my 10 favorites. It perked me up and I felt happy but now I feel like shit. Reading stories can have a negative feedback on you. Both from the story and from the writer themselves. The story made me feel sad about how successful the character are and that they have love ones in their life. I do right now but today I just can't feel it. Now I am jealous of the writer for how famous they can be. I want to be like them. To be known and to have people talk to me. I want to feel important in some body's life. The thought of death approaches my mind countless times as I feel like I won't accomplish anything in my life. I want to impact people and feel important but I simply can't. My mind. My mentality, I just can't handle it. I have massive mood swings and it just messes with me. I just want to get away from it all. I just want to feel like someone. I'm being pretty selfish right now. You guys probably don't want to hear from a nobody like me. I don't know why but I feel compelled to do this. I feel like this can help me in the long run. Hopefully i am right, because if not then this explosion can cause a terrible scar on my soul and my life in general. I would do a depressing song right now but I just don't feel like it. Here is a depressed Yuki Harima signing off.